Debate v. Attack - 4 tips for healthy online argument

Debate v. Attack – 4 tips for healthy online argument

9 November 2009 515 views Comments

Debate There’s a big difference between a healthy debate and an unprofessional attack. As bloggers, we put ourselves out there and lay our opinions on the line everyday. We know that not everyone is going to agree with us all the time…and honestly, that’s part of the reason we do it. We have a comments section because we encourage others to tell us the opposing side of the story so we can discuss it — like mature adults.

If you’re someone who commonly visits this blog, you might have noticed a little bit of an attack going on last week on my “Dear Yellowbook” post. While I never anticipated this would be one of the most controversial posts I’ve ever written (I actually intended it to be very witty), my post apparently came across the desks of a few disgruntled YellowBook employees in Iowa. And the attack began…

The problem I had with the comments they left is that although these people had some actual points, they completely ruined their argument by attacking me as a person instead of just debating the issue. They destroyed their own credibility by using words like “stupid”, “lazy” and “princess”. They even told me to “go hug a tree!”

On top of that, they put the YellowBook brand under fire by writing these comments from a YellowBook computer (IP address tracking is a wonderful thing). So while I highly doubt the entire YellowBook corporation thinks I’m a stupid, lazy, tree hugging princess, it could appear to be so. After all, these are people representing the YellowBook brand, and what other information do we have to go off of?

Side note: I think this is a classic example of watching what you say and do online. As the representative of a company, it’s imperative that you act in a manner in which that company will be proud of. I know Pyxl would be pretty upset if I was bashing someone online from a company computer (or at all since my name is tied to all things Pyxl).

Back to the point of this post — after this experience, I have a few tips for healthy online debate:

Respond, don’t react! When something gets you heated, take a second to step back and really think about how you’re going to respond. Weigh the impact your comments will make on your image, that of your company, etc. Be cool, calm and collected and be thoughtful in your response.
Stick to your argument. Don’t attack the person you don’t agree with. Rather, refute their claims with facts. Healthy debate is a good thing! Attacking someone as a person is just going to put you (and possibly your company) under fire.
Avoid hateful words. If you think I’m wrong in my opinion, that’s awesome — just tell me why I’m wrong (facts!)…don’t say I’m wrong because I’m stupid. That’s really immature and unprofessional, and it ruins your argument.
Own your argument. It’s really easy to be anonymous online. However, if you feel strongly about a topic and you have the info to back up your side, own it! Tell us who you are, what your name is, etc. If you’re posting anonymously, that sometimes shows you have something to hide and people might not take you as seriously.

What do you think? Have a missed an important tip? Let’s discuss:

Sasha H. Muradali

This is a really great article Nicole. Well said.

I think there is a difference and sometimes emotions can get the better of people. You really just have to live and learn.

Nicole VanScoten

Thanks, Sasha!

I absolutely agree. Sometimes we get heated and say the first things that come to mind...but it's often best to take a second to collect your thoughts and respond when you're cool, calm and collected -- especially on the Internet where what you say could come back to bite you.

Mike

Although I agree with some of your comments I do break the line when you say IP addresses are a wonderful thing. Since this is coming from a yellowbook email then I can say that most of the comments were dead on. To talk about issues that affect peoples careers and living to support their families and only go on what you think instead of fact is the issue. I like the post you just made and think it was well written. Thanks. Please understand that people will take offense when you sound like you are attacking their livliehood. It is hard times and negative blogs without facts are just in poor taste and more over what the internet has to clean up.
Maybe you can blog about positive things that help people. Then at the end of the day everyone wins and feels better for it. Again, thanks for the post this time. Point taken by all.

Nicole VanScoten

Mike,

Thanks for commenting! Glad you like this post. I completely understand why people got upset with my YellowBook post. Of course, I never want anyone to loose their jobs and I don't want YellowBook to downsize, but rather continue to evolve as a company. (Side note: just saw a commercial for a YellowBook phone app - a step in the right direction for sure!)...so that wasn't my intention when I wrote that post. Anyway, the problem I had is that the comments from Amy & Mike on that post attacked me as a person instead of refuting my claims. I love a healthy debate and would have loved if they told me why I was wrong MINUS the attack words. DP was someone whose comments I REALLY appreciated on that post and he/she taught me a lot of info I didn't have about the company and how it's not as back in the stone age as I may have thought (although I still think there's a more efficient way to pass out phone books). Anyway, I will definitely try to work on some more positive posts. I think sometimes we pay more attention to the negative (like how we're more likely to complain when we have a bad experience than praise when we have a good one)...so thanks for that. A positive post is coming your way soon ;)

As always, thanks for the comments and your opinion! Greatly appreciated :)